Don’t ever trust Google translate.

Halaman, or Plant in English, is a living organism typically growing in a permanent site, absorbing water and inorganic substances through its roots, and synthesizing nutrients in its leaves by photosynthesis using the green pigment chlorophyll…okay, stop. In order words, they’re asexual living organisms.

We used the word Halaman to analogize the state of being of someone who doesn’t have any sexual feelings or desires to the opposite sex. Being asexual is also, somewhat, relates to being a celibate–a person who abstains from marriage and sexual relations.  However, celibacy is already far from being a halaman. Probably, the nearest word to describe this is Alexythimia.

Alexythimia derives from Greek, which literally means, having no words for emotions. According to Psychiatrictimes.comalexithymia implies a glitch in the process that permits the expression of feelings in words that capture the body’s involvement in these feelings. Though this is a very specific term for emotionally detached people… ooppss… did I just say “emotionally detached?” Yes, that is right. Halaman people are emotionally detached people.

You mad at me for beating around the bush? Well, I just want to let you know the clinical term for this. Peace!

So to those people who doesn’t really give a piece of sh*t about St. Valentine’s Day or others call it, Self Awareness Day or Independence Day, I made some compilation of quotes, tweets, and memes for you.

1) This time when you starred at a Jollibee commercial

“I never felt like a superstar before!”

2) When you’re just really dead on the inside


3) Or maybe your zodiac sign is really Aquarius?

Happy graduation my halaman friend!

4) When you’re not a bitter gourd this Valentines

Best halaman friend award goes to…

5) When you’re doubting yourself, you know what to do


6) When your friend is annoying you with food


7) Hail to the Halaman Anthem!


Even though you’re a halaman, don’t worry. There’s still someone out there who loves you (even though you won’t ever love them back, perhaps?).

Happy Halaman Day!

Screenshot from Love Myself